Posted in Mom Life, Ramblings Of A SAHM

Anxiety…Now What?

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anx·i·e·ty (aNGˈzīədē/noun
1. a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.
A couple weeks back I shared that I struggle with…ANXIETY. It is something that I have always dealt with, but didn’t really get the best of me until I became a Mother. Since that post I have received numerous messages asking me…now what?

How do you deal with it? What’s your secret? Do you have any recommendations? I totally get how you are feeling, I feel the same…but I don’t know how to overcome. What can I do? I don’t want my life to be like this anymore.

So I decided to really think about what I feel has been the game changers when it comes to my anxiety, and to put together a list of things that have worked and continue to work for me.

I must tell you that I STILL do in fact deal with anxiety, but instead of it being this big huge scary monster that consumes my life, it is now a little tiny fly that buzzes around irritating me from time to time…but is something I can handle and manage.

I will also say, that if this has gotten SO big and out of control…know that there is ZERO shame in asking for professional help. Sometimes our problems are just to big for us to handle on our own, so don’t be afraid to reach out.

Here are my tips in no particular order.

  1. Get In Touch With Your Inner Yogi (Not The Bear). I have said it before and I will say it again. YOGA was a four letter word I used to HATE. Who has the time to rest and relax when there is a MILLION things to do? #AintNobodyGotTime I have a chore list a mile long… But I can honestly say that this Fall when it seemed like my world was spinning out of control…Yoga saved me. Yoga helped me get in tune with myself, to check out of every day life, and to finally feel peace. Now, because I don’t live in a big huge area, I Yoga at home. My all time favorite instructor can be found on YouTube and her videos are FREE! So if you need to find your center or just want to drown out all the brain chatter be sure to check out Yoga With Adriene.

  2. Self Help Books…No They Aren’t Granola. I know what you are thinking…REALLY a BOOK? But hear me out…your brain my friend is a POWERFUL thing. Think about it! Your anxiety stems from your THOUGHTS! So why not fill your brain with positivity and confidence? Start your day reading or listening to positive and uplifting messages. Here are a few of my all time favorite.

Find audio books, podcasts, uplifting music, anything that surrounds your brain with positivity and tells you nothing more than that you are AWESOME. Because you are.


3. Write That -Ish Out. Part of my struggle with anxiety seems to be that my brain never stops. It goes a million miles a minute from sun up to sundown. So much static and brain chatter, which could cause anyone to get stressed out. So one of the most helpful things I do is I write…I make lists, I schedule ( but not over schedule), and I empty my brain. I leave notebooks all over the house so that I can brain dump. Getting it out of my head clears things up, seeing what I need to accomplish in a day on paper helps me not get so overwhelmed. So grab some cheapy notebooks at the store and toss them around the house.


4. I Believe In That VooDoo Stuff. That’s what my husband likes to call my obsession with essential oils, but you guys whatever you want to call it. That stuff works! Track down a DoTerra Rep or a Young Living girl and get you some! My top picks are Lavender, Marjoram, and Angelica. Although those work best for me, I would recommend getting together in person with someone and smelling different oils, your body will tell you what you need. You will be drawn to the one that will be best for you.


5. In With The Good. Out With The Bad. One of my friends a while back gave me some incredible advice for the days where I wake up totally freaking out for no reason (if you have anxiety you know what I’m talking about), she said lay in bed and start counting all of your blessings. Name every single thing you are grateful for, and do not leave that bed until you are calm. Now with kids that isn’t always an easy task, so maybe you don’t have the ability to stay in bed and do it, but just keep telling yourself all the things you are grateful for.  OR just BREATHE!! In…and OUT…Over and over again. Focus solely on your breathe. Not able to keep your mind from wandering? Check out the Headspace app for your phone.


6. Most Importantly…Let Yourself Off The Hook. Here’s the deal. You will have days, days where you feel like the whole world is crumbling around you. This is something that unfortunately doesn’t magically go away,  this is a battle you will fight daily. So do yourself a favor and let yourself off the hook. Every once in a while…let yourself have a day…but make sure you limit it to only ONE day. No more than that. Trust me when I say, that IF you keep trying, this big scary monster will turn into an itty bitty annoyance but know that you have to stay alert. Be gentle with yourself, you are doing the best you can.

The truth is anxiety never goes away, it is just something that we learn to control. So find what works for you. I wish there were some magical formula to make it go away, but there isn’t. Luckily we have so many resources available to us, so that we can find ways to keep it at bay. Use them.

Just know that if you do in fact struggle with anxiety, know you aren’t alone. You aren’t going crazy (well maybe you are, but all the best ones are). You aren’t doing anything wrong. Don’t listen to the voice inside telling you all those lies. Stand up to yourself, stand up to the monster who is trying to control your life, be brave and take back control of you life. Reach out to someone you know, reach out to stranger like me, find a support group, do whatever you can so you can live life to it’s fullest with zero limitations.

XOXO Makala

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Posted in Mom Life, Ramblings Of A SAHM

Behind The Scenes: Living With Anxiety

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“I lied and said I was busy. I was busy; but not in a way most people understand. I was taking deeper breaths. I was busy silencing irrational thoughts. I was busy calming a racing heart. I was busy telling myself I am okay. Sometimes this is my busy, and I will not apologize for it.” -Anxiety Doesn’t Knock First

Yesterday started out as any typical Saturday, and then my un-welcomed friend ANXIETY reared his ugly head. Many don’t know,but I have struggled a LOT with anxiety in my life. I was the girl who hated going to the Dentist so I would come up with ANY excuse not to go. It’s not that I didn’t want to, it’s just that the unknowns were to much to handle. Anxiety hit especially hard AFTER I had my babies.

At one point it got SO bad I refused to leave the house. I would make plans with friends, then have irrational freak outs about where to park, what would I say, etc. So I would then bail. I am not proud of it, not even a little bit but at that time in my life anxiety won every single battle.

I then found that exercise, a healthier diet (I still drink my daily Diet Coke and enjoy Taco Tuesday), and reading personal development helped me cope with anxiety. I have been able to control way better than before.

But I still have my days, and my quirks. For example, I still don’t dare to venture out to the grocery store alone with my son. What if he has a melt down, what if my card was accidentally declined, the list goes on and on. But we pick our battles.

Yesterday was a day where Anxiety started to fight. We had planned a fun little trip to the Mississippi River only 20 minutes from our house, where the kids could play on the beach and build sandcastles.

Sounds harmless, right?

Well for someone with anxiety, it’s not that simple. Sometimes the littlest things just aren’t so little. We turn little tiny molehills in to MAJOR mountains. We don’t mean to, but that’s what happens.

My brain started running a million miles an hour. What do I wear? What’s the beach like? What do I need to pack for the kids? It all started to be too much.

I was on the verge of tears, I thought my heart might beat right through my chest, I felt a tingle all over my body, I had to hold back the urge to runaway. Fight or flight is VERY real with me. I started snapping at my husband (again fight or flight) because then maybe the fight would lead to us not going (even though I wanted to).

I locked myself in the closet, took some major deep breaths, and started sifting through my feelings. Figuring out what I could let go of, what sounded irrational, and what I could do to mend what I had done and make this a spectacular day for my family

Eventually I was able to pull myself together and get ready. We ended up having a fabulous day filled with MANY memories!

Yesterday I’m proud to say, Anxiety did NOT win. Even thought she tried with everything that she had.

I don’t believe Anxiety is completely curable, I think it something that I will always have to deal with. But that shouldn’t stop me or you from living an incredible life. A life filled with achieving BIG hopes and dreams.

There are so many tools out there to help manage anxiety, so if you struggle please promise me that you will find what works for YOU! And if you need someone to talk to, know that I am here! I am a friend who understand, who will listen, and will love you for who you are.

“Living with anxiety is like being followed by a voice. It knows all your insecurities and uses them against you. It gets to the point when it’s the loudest voice in the room. The only one you can hear.” – Healthy Place

The above statement may be true, but trust me when I say YOU can overcome! You are a FIGHTER! You are NOT a prisoner to this! You can and you WILL win!

But first you have to be willing to try!

XOXO

Makala

Need someone to talk to? You can find me here > Makala Clark