Posted in Ramblings Of A SAHM

Punch Fear In The Face

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Fear…Isn’t it a FUNNY thing?

It takes the most RATIONAL people we know…And turns them COMPLETELY irrational…

Guilty?! Me too!

Try to call Struan at work…can’t get ahold of him…immediately I fear the WORST! Maybe he was in a wreck…what if he fell off something at work…the list goes on and on…

It sounds silly…but it happens more often then I would like to admit…

A few months ago in Jamaica we decided to go Zip Lining…And Y’all I was scared out of my mind…A million SCARY thoughts went through my mind…The climb up to the top…made me SICK…my stomach was in knots…and I was on the verge of tears…

I had NO idea what I was getting myself into…Then they hooked me up and without hesitation sent me flying…

And you know what…It was INCREDIBLE!! I LOVED IT!!!

What if I would have given in to the fear? I NEVER would have gotten to experience the THRILL of the ride!!!

F***!

Fear…the scariest “F” word out there…

It lurks around corners, it waits for you in dark alleys, and it pops up in the most inconvenient of times…

Plain and simple…FEAR is a bully who doesn’t fight fair…

A few months ago my 3 year old fell off the top bunk…face first…it was a pretty serious fall…one that took a long time to recover from…Yet, it didn’t stop him from climbing up the ladder the next day and sleeping in his bed without any hesitation…

WHY?? Why is it that my 3 year old could punch fear in the face…

Yet here I sit paralyzed? Scared to follow what’s on my heart…scared to FAIL! Another pretty serious “F” word…

And I know I’m not alone. Because I hear it all the time from other women around me. Bottom line…we don’t feel like we deserve to dream big and pursue our dreams.

Here’s the cold,hard truth…You are the VICTIM of the rules you live by! {Jen Sincero}

So in order to punch fear right between the eyes…we HAVE to believe we are worthy of the life we want to live…We have to stop limiting ourselves…And then we have to take a step forward…trusting and believing in ourselves.

You’ve got to decide that you want something MORE than you are afraid of it!

{If you haven’t read You Are A BadAss, then I highly recommend it!}

Is there something out there that you have ALWAYS wanted to do…but have been too scared to try??

I’m issuing you a challenge…JUST FREAKING DO IT!!

Let go of FEAR…PUNCH it in the FACE if you have to…and take a LEAP of faith!

XOXO Makala

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Posted in Ramblings Of A SAHM

Staying Would Be Easy.

 

quit

We hear it all the time…

Quitting Is For Losers…

And in some circumstances that would be right…

But isn’t staying in your comfort zone also equally loser-ish? (Is that even a word?)

I mean hear me out for a second…

I’ve been doing a LOT…and I mean a LOT of soul searching for the last six months or so…

I’ve taken every single thing in my life…thrown it under a microscope and examined the hell out of it…

I wanted to create a simpler life, one that was filled with meaning and not so much stuff…

A life that I could look back on and be proud…

A life that would inspire others to do the same…

So I started creating lists (Type A, thanks Mom) and putting things into columns…

What was most important to me…

What DID I want to accomplish in my life…

What matched the legacy I wanted to leave behind…

What behaviors fit in with my values…

And then there were the lists of the things that didn’t matter anymore or things that I had made priority in the past that weren’t serving me well…

I had this intense realization that what I was doing for the most part, was no longer the thing that I needed to be doing.

While it had been such a key component in my life, it was time to move on…I needed a “Do Over.”

But then all of this emotion started to flood me…and the words QUITTER flashed before my eyes.

Was I really a quitter? Was I never going to win because I was giving up? Was I just going to be another one of those stories of the girl who quit before the miracle?

But deep down I have known the answer for a while, that’s not the case for me. I’m not quitting on my hopes, my dreams, and my future. I’m simply taking an exit to the same destination just on a new road.

And it scares me out of my ever living mind. Which honestly…I think is the point.

I am stepping into un-charted territory. I am trying something new, something I didn’t even intend to find.

See the EASY thing to do here would be to stay in what I know. To stay on the path I have been on for quite some time. It would be so easy to stick to it. I mean why in the world would I leave…when I have built something so incredible?

I can’t explain it other than, I feel like I have been standing at the edge of the water, staring out wondering what else might be out there for me (Moana, I get you girl!). I just keep feeling pulled in a new direction, and as scary as that sounds…

I have to follow my heart, and find my True North. Even though at times I find myself saying out loud “What Did I Just Do?” and crying for no reason because in all honesty I am scared.

But in the long run…I have to be true to who I am. I want others to remember me for my COURAGE to follow my heart…I want to inspire my kids to go after what they want…no matter how badly it scares them…

You see…I may be a QUITTER…but I am most definitely not a LOSER. And no matter what the outcome might be, I am going to hold my head high because at least I tried…

Because if I go there’s just no telling how far I’ll go.

Bottom Line: Just say yes to new adventures. Start living your life again. Step out of your comfort zone & find the thing that fuels your passion. Stop worrying about what others might think. This is YOUR life and you only have ONE. So make it count!

moana

Posted in Ramblings Of A SAHM

Be Fearless

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“Be Fearless In The Pursuit Of What Sets Your Soul On Fire.” -Unknown

Do you remember when you were a kid and had ZERO fears?

You climbed a tree because it looked fun.

You rode an elephant

You pedaled your bike as fast as you could down dirt roads.

You let your dad pull you behind a four wheeler in the dead of winter with a sled attached.

You fed a baby African lion.

You sent love notes to a boy to check yes or no if he liked you.

You practiced cabbage patching down the halls of school.

You sang everywhere you went in hopes that someone might hear you and make you famous.

You didn’t think about what might happen. You didn’t care what others might say. You went for it because it looked like fun. You were in your mind I N V I N C I B L E.

And even when you did fall flat on your face…

Like the time your forgot your dance moves for a solo on stage and ran off crying.

You bounced back..and tried again…because you believed in yourself.

That was me. I was that girl.

And then one day, I stopped believing in who I was, and what I was capable of. Instead of looking inward, I started looking for outside approval. I let what others think of me stop me from being my true authentic self.

Instead of being F E A R L E S S…I lived in F E A R.

For many years, I let what others did or said dictate how I acted. And can I tell you something? It was E X H A U S T I N G!

Then one day, A G A I N, I woke up and realized that by stopping myself from E X P E R I E N C I N G life…I was only hurting myself.

So I started doing what I, me, Makala wanted. I focused less on what others thought, and more on what I thought.

And out of that I discovered that…

That WILD AT HEART GIRL still existed!

You know, the girl who sings too loud in the shower.

The girl who rocks stripes with polka dots.

The girl who isn’t afraid to take a S E L F I E in the middle of a crowd.

And it feels so incredibly good!

It feels good to finally be living the way I want to…not for what others want. But for what I want.

And that took C O U R A G E and a M I N D S E T shift. You can change your physical appearance all you want, but until you work on the inside…

It won’t make a difference. You won’t be happy until you can be 100% you…

U N A P O L E G E T I C A L L Y.

Because once you become F E A R L E S S then life becomes L I M I T L E S S.

unbreakable

 

Posted in Ramblings Of A SAHM

I Am Broken.

Belle.jpg

Here Are Some Facts About Me:

  1. I am a product of divorce.
  2. I grew up shopping at thrift stores & not because it was cool or hip.
  3.  I was jealous of girls whose Dad’s were around and lied about who he was to my friends.
  4. I was kicked out of college.
  5. The longest I ever held a job was in high school.
  6. One of my very best friends passed away weeks before graduation & I went off the deep end.
  7. I was in many unhealthy relationships because all I longed for was love & believed I could fix anything.
  8. I ran away from home at 19 to live with a boy (who treated me horribly) because I didn’t know who I was.
  9. I have had possessions repossessed due to our finances being so far in the toilet we had to choose between paying bills or feeding our family.
  10. The list goes on and on…

And yet even though all of this has happened to me…you want to know something that I have learned? Even though I have been “That Girl”. She doesn’t dictate who I am NOW. Yes, she is a part of me, but I don’t have to be her, and guess what?

I’m NOT! I’m not a victim, because I have consciously chosen to be a VICTOR! I have found a plan that works for me (more on that later). Has it been easy? No. Have I failed miserably? Yes. But I continue to keep moving forward. To continue to search for who I have been called to become. What I was sent here to do. I won’t give up until I do.

I want to make a difference in the world, and I believe I can. So can you! We are ALL destined for greatness in this life, no matter where we have been. No matter the choices we have made. No matter what, you are NEVER to far gone to create a better life for yourself.

So while my rap sheet many not look so promising, it doesn’t matter because I have made a choice to not be that person anymore. To not let past circumstances define who I am.

So yes, you may say that I am damaged, bruised, broken, and chipped. And you are absolutely right, I am. However,  I am not so far damaged, bruised, broken, and chipped that I can’t make a difference. That I can’t create an incredible life full of hopes and dreams. Neither are you.

kintsukroi
Kintsukuroi Bowl
Did you know that in Japan there is a tradition called “Kintsukuroi”. It is the art of repairing pottery with gold or silver lacquer & understanding that the piece is more beautiful for having been broken.

They take what some would consider broken, completely useless and turn it into something even more beautiful than before. You can do the same with your life.

So here we sit. You have a choice. You can turn your scars into stars, and your mess into a message…or you can choose to be a victim…to let your past define who you are today. Just know that no matter who you are, you have the power to change it all.

I don’t know about you but I am NOT what happened to me, I AM what I choose to become.

And I choose to become the best person I can possibly be, and to create a beautiful life from the broken pieces around me.

XOXO Makala

 

Posted in Mom Life, Ramblings Of A SAHM

Bloopers Are The Best Part…

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Behind The Scenes Sneak Peek – This Is My Reality Show.

Where are my movie lovers at?

I absolutely LOVE movies…especially in the theater. The popcorn, the candy, the previews, the sticky floors, and the squeaky chairs. I laugh, I cry, I cheer, I clap, I enjoy every single second at the movies.

But my all time favorite moment, is when the credits finish rolling, there are very few people left in the theater, and they start the blooper reels.

You know what I’m talking about. The scenes where the actors mess up, play pranks, and in those moments you see them as HUMANS. Real human beings, who are exactly like you and me.

I soak that stuff up. I just love RAW & REAL life. The people I look up to and relate to, are those who share the nitty gritty of their lives. Those who aren’t ashamed to share their vulnerable side. Those who inspire others by living their lives OUT LOUD (the good and the bad).

I strive to be the same way. Because as we ALL know. Life is not all highlight reels, it has MANY scenes you wish could be deleted, scenes of sorrow, scenes that are scary, and yes there are those beloved bloopers.

But yet, as humans we have this problem where we tend to forget that others are just as HUMAN as we are. For some reason, we think WE are the only people on the planet who have issues, who have trials, who are failures, etc.

We forget one tiny detail, that NOBODY, I repeat NOBODY’S life is perfect.

No matter if they live in a 6,000 square foot home or a cardboard box down by the river. Each human on this planet HAS problems. Problems that are unique to each human being.

If I hadn’t told you before, would you have ever guessed that my family was completely broke? That our home was in foreclosure, that our boat was repossessed, and that our family had to split apart in order to survive?

Probably not!

The point I am trying to make is STOP with the comparison game. Stop looking at others WISHING you had their life, their body, their whatever.

Just because someone chooses to only show their highlight reel in life, does NOT mean life is all rainbows and butterflies for them.

The truth is. You have an INCREDIBLE life. Your life story is being written every single day. Every day your pages are being FILLED. You hold the power to CREATE the story.

So what kind will it be? A drama or an adventure? Horror story or inspirational tale?

I don’t know about you, but all of my FAVORITE storybooks contain a villain, a hero, a tragedy, some sort of inspiration, and a victory. All the ups and downs are there for a reason, they teach the hero (YOU) a lesson.¬†Whether you will stay knocked down, or get back up.

I love this crazy, tragic, sometimes almost magic, awful beautiful life. So should you.

Oh, and do yourself a favor. Laugh at your bloopers as much as you possibly can. It makes life a whole lot easier to manage when you can laugh it off.  Life is way to short to take it so seriously.

XOXO Makala

highlightreel

 

Posted in Mom Life, Ramblings Of A SAHM, Thrifty Mamma

Sticky Blessings

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Happy Monday You Guys!!! I found myself in a puddle of TEARS over Peanut Butter this morning…

Yes! PEANUT BUTTER!

As many of you know…this last year our finances took a BIG hit…A hit that caused much heartache…

I haven’t told this story before…but last Spring as we were traveling home from ID to AR we stopped to buy our kids dinner…Only to find that our account had been drained by an unexpected payment…We were STUCK in Denver and our kids were HUNGRY…

We felt helpless & like complete failures…how were we going to feed our kids? How were we going to get home? I dug through my purse and found an old Walmart gift card my grandmother had given us for Christmas…dialed the number and PRAYED it hadn’t been used…Fortunately the big guy upstairs was looking out for us, and we were able to buy the kids food.

Today, I sat at the counter crying over this little tub of peanut butter….it may not seem like much to some…But I’m grateful for it…because it shows that I am able to feed my babies and I know there are many out there who don’t have the luxury.

Many who don’t know where their next meal will come from.

Some have asked me HOW have I stayed so positive when it seemed like my whole world was falling apart?! Trust me there were MANY moments that weren’t so pretty…But what I have learned is the more GRATEFUL you are, the more you find things to be grateful for. Even if it’s just a loaf of bread and a jar of peanut butter….those little things sure do represent a LOT.

Today. I challenge you to look around. See what you DO have, and say THANK YOU. You are blessed and loved more than you could possibly imagine, and even if life is HARD and doesn’t look the way you imagined…You STILL have something to be grateful for! You just have to open your eyes and SEE!