Posted in Ramblings Of A SAHM

I Am Broken.

Belle.jpg

Here Are Some Facts About Me:

  1. I am a product of divorce.
  2. I grew up shopping at thrift stores & not because it was cool or hip.
  3.  I was jealous of girls whose Dad’s were around and lied about who he was to my friends.
  4. I was kicked out of college.
  5. The longest I ever held a job was in high school.
  6. One of my very best friends passed away weeks before graduation & I went off the deep end.
  7. I was in many unhealthy relationships because all I longed for was love & believed I could fix anything.
  8. I ran away from home at 19 to live with a boy (who treated me horribly) because I didn’t know who I was.
  9. I have had possessions repossessed due to our finances being so far in the toilet we had to choose between paying bills or feeding our family.
  10. The list goes on and on…

And yet even though all of this has happened to me…you want to know something that I have learned? Even though I have been “That Girl”. She doesn’t dictate who I am NOW. Yes, she is a part of me, but I don’t have to be her, and guess what?

I’m NOT! I’m not a victim, because I have consciously chosen to be a VICTOR! I have found a plan that works for me (more on that later). Has it been easy? No. Have I failed miserably? Yes. But I continue to keep moving forward. To continue to search for who I have been called to become. What I was sent here to do. I won’t give up until I do.

I want to make a difference in the world, and I believe I can. So can you! We are ALL destined for greatness in this life, no matter where we have been. No matter the choices we have made. No matter what, you are NEVER to far gone to create a better life for yourself.

So while my rap sheet many not look so promising, it doesn’t matter because I have made a choice to not be that person anymore. To not let past circumstances define who I am.

So yes, you may say that I am damaged, bruised, broken, and chipped. And you are absolutely right, I am. However,  I am not so far damaged, bruised, broken, and chipped that I can’t make a difference. That I can’t create an incredible life full of hopes and dreams. Neither are you.

kintsukroi
Kintsukuroi Bowl
Did you know that in Japan there is a tradition called “Kintsukuroi”. It is the art of repairing pottery with gold or silver lacquer & understanding that the piece is more beautiful for having been broken.

They take what some would consider broken, completely useless and turn it into something even more beautiful than before. You can do the same with your life.

So here we sit. You have a choice. You can turn your scars into stars, and your mess into a message…or you can choose to be a victim…to let your past define who you are today. Just know that no matter who you are, you have the power to change it all.

I don’t know about you but I am NOT what happened to me, I AM what I choose to become.

And I choose to become the best person I can possibly be, and to create a beautiful life from the broken pieces around me.

XOXO Makala

 

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Author:

Hot Mess Mom. Jesus Lover. Taco Obsessed. Diet Coke Drinker. Mug Lover. Wannabe Yogi. Believer Of Magical Things

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